I’M (NOT) THE PERFECT MOM

Well, that’s a bummer.

And guess what friend, neither are you. And neither is that mom friend of yours who packs those snack boxes for her kids with the fancy fruit skewers and mermaid shaped sarmies. Which, if you can do-is great! I’m not attacking you, heck-I made my toddler heart-shaped sarmies yesterday. (Probably won’t do it again for a while, but I’m adding it to my list of accomplishments)

And that mom blogger you follow with all the pretty filtered pictures of her life..well, hate to be the one to break it to you, but, neither is she.

Believing we can be, or even that the mythical perfect mom creature even exists basically just sets us up for disappointment and failure.

I have raised my voice at my toddler more times than I care to mention.

I’ve cried in front of my kids from sheer frustration and fatigue more than once.

Heck, I’ve even stomped my foot while trying to convince my toddler to eat one more bite of her dinner while attempting to open the vice-like grip of my 8 month old around her spoon so that I can coerce HER into doing the same.

Lord, give me strength.

I’ve felt defeated and like a failure over the past while all because I let myself believe I could be the perfect mom, but was failing at it.

What is that even? What would a perfect mom look like?

Does she never raise her voice? Does she never feel like she needs a break from her kids? Does she always feel like she’s on top of things? Do her kids always eat everything she puts in front of them? Does her toddler never throw a fit over something stupid?

Is her hair always done? (I’m the poster child for the mom bun). Does she always dress well, not just for Instagram? (If I put anything other than leggings or sweatpants on while we’re home, my toddler asks me where I think I’m going)

She. Does. Not. Exist.

Truth is, I think, as long as I’m trying, I’m winning.

Trying to keep calm when I actually just want to yell at my kids.

Trying to get to the laundry and tidy the house and cook dinner, work, all that stuff..as long as I’m trying to, even if I don’t get to it all, or if I do end up yelling...I’M TRYING!

Don’t be so hard on yourself, mamma. Your kids aren’t keeping score, and neither should you. Who are you even competing with?

While I’m at it, can I ask that we, women (mothers, wives, whatever titles you carry), could we PLEASE just stop pretending like we have it all together and can we start being honest with one another about our struggles?

Can we be vulnerable and transparent enough to admit we struggle and that some days are really just write-offs and that it’s ok?

Goodness, imagine the freedom it could bring to that first-time mamma who is being so hard on herself because she’s not enjoying those first few weeks because she’s overwhelmed and feels like she can’t let anyone know she’s not coping!

Can we not just offer advice but be vulnerable enough to offer up our own experiences and struggles, no matter how big or small?

I don’t think it’s fair on anyone (ourselves especially) if we portray a life that isn’t real, authentic and honest.

Go on, read these words slowly:

“I’m not perfect”.

Now say it out loud:

“I’m not perfect, and it’s perfectly ok.”