LITTLE MISS ONE OF A KIND

My promise is one year old today.

I remember so clearly the day I found out I was pregnant with you. Before I looked at the results of the test, I remember telling God that if I was pregnant He was good, and if I wasn’t, He was still good. When I read the word “pregnant” on the test, I just sobbed. Almost 9 years of failed tests, and there it was-there you were.

I kept the secret of you all to myself for a couple days; only God, Heaven and I knew of you. I took that time for the miracle that is you to settle in my heart, in my spirit. And as the idea of you grew, so did my love for you. It grew exponentially every day, and it still does.

And I can’t tell you how often I’ve looked at you and wondered what it must feel like to be a dream come true. Because that’s what you are.

The magnitude of the miraculous, tangible grace we’ve experienced just because you were born will never be fully comprehended by me in this life.

The day you were born, a part of me was woken up, the last part of me that was asleep.

The part of me I didn’t even know I needed, until I met you.

What a privilege it was to carry you, to labor with you. To bring you into this world.

And what a privilege it is to be your mother.

What an honor to hear the word “mama” clumsily slip from your little lips when you look at me, the joy I feel when you reach your little arms out to me can’t adequately be put into words.

Becoming your mama has made me stronger and weaker all at the same time. Stronger because my faith has been made steadfast, and because of the love I have for you. And weak at the knees because somedays I still can’t believe you’re mine.

You’ve made my heart bigger, fuller, stronger.

And you’ve made my doubt in miracles cease to exist.

God, how kind you’ve been to me. That you would give me a double portion of blessing for all those whimpering prayers and secret disappointments all the years before her. Before both my girls made me a mamma.

Vida, you are the wondrous, beloved fulfillment of promises kept by an ever-faithful father.

Undeserving promises.

I pray you’ll always carry with you the joy you’ve shown us this passed year. It streams from your face when you smile and laugh.

I pray you’ll always know how wanted you are. How desperately wanted you were for all those years.

I love you Vida Virtue. Before I even knew you, I loved you.