HOW WONDERFUL LIFE IS NOW THAT YOU'RE IN THE WORLD

The day you were born, a part of me was born too.

I may not have been aware of you on that hot November day, the day you were born to this world, and to your first mommy. You must know that she is a brave, beautiful woman, who gave me the most precious gift - you. And I will always love and honor her for that. I may not have felt the contractions that eased you into this world like she did...I may not have felt that life-giving pain that day, but I have ached for you, in the waiting for you - you wonderful wonderful girl!

Even though your daddy and I were not there that beautiful November day, you were born to us the day we held you for the first time, and named you Nova Justice. The day we bathed you for the first time, it seemed as though I was being reborn as I lifted you from the warm water, and it was as though it was me who was being cleansed.

You were not formed in my body, you did not live there the first miraculous months of your existence, but you were formed in my heart, and you have taken up residence there, in the secret corners of my soul only God knows about. There you will forever remain, safe, honored, protected and loved more than you will ever know!

You came home when you were 7 months old, and I wish I had become your mother sooner, so that I could have loved you for longer. But in that time we prayed for you, dreamed of you, trusted God for you. We prepared your room, sorted your clothes, readied our hearts for you. And you were so worth it.

For the first few months that you were home...I cried. I cried because loving you overwhelmed me. Having the broken, empty places in my heart finally healed and filled, hurt. And some days I felt it was too much to bare because waking up the parts of my heart that had fallen asleep was frightening, but so necessary.

You change the world, my world, just by the way you look at me. And I can’t imagine looking into any eyes other than yours. The eyes I had seen in my dreams before we even knew about you.

And I somehow see my sense of humor in you, the same sense of humor my father has (the part of him I love most) and it rattles me, shakes me to my core-in the best way possible! The only thing I can think is God must have made you for me...he must have known you would be mine.

And I’ve never heard your daddy laugh the way he laughs when he’s with you, and I’ve known him more than half my life. That’s a lot of laughs and giggles! The only explanation I can come up with is that when you became a part of our lives, you brought with you a new kind of joy that we had never experienced before there was a you!

You must always know that you have a special place in this world, in our world, and it is in the shape of you. A purposed, pre-planned place that only you can fill. And you fill it so well without even knowing it. In the few short months that we have called you ours, you have not only changed our world in the best way, you’ve also changed the world of those around us: your family, our friends, and even strangers. Just by being you, you’ve softened hardened hearts, and brought light to dark places, just like the meaning of your name says.

Sweet Nova, I don’t think you’ll ever know how you’ve moved me, you’ve changed the landscape of my life. Everything I have is nothing until I give it to you. You have woken up the sleepy parts of me, and brought to life parts of me I never knew existed.

I have always loved you, sweet girl, and I always will.

I wish I had written this poem because it sums up so beautifully how much your birth day has changed me:

i thank You God for most this amazing

day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth

day of life and love and wings and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any-lifted from the no

of all nothing-human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

e e cummings

Mommy loves you.